Going a little stir crazy as the COVID-19 virus continues to lock down pretty much most of the country?

There’s no limit to the times you can walk around your own block, of course. But after so many circuits, the fresh air starts to smell, well, not so fresh.

Indiana’s State Parks to the rescue.

According to in.gov/dnr, “All DNR properties (are open), including state parks, state forests, fish and wildlife areas, nature preserves and state recreation areas.

“Entrance fees at all properties have been temporarily suspended.”

The Department of Natural Resources has gone so far as to extend all 2019-2020 basic hunting, basic fishing, hunt/fish combo, youth licenses and stamps.

Originally set to expire March 31, these licenses are valid until Friday, May 22.

Hunters and fishermen are required to carry their old licenses so the DNR can verify they are eligible for this extension.

The state parks offer a wonderful opportunity to enjoy the great outdoors, with the wild nature of animals making them inherently inclined to practice social distancing from humans.

Take a walk. See some nature. Get out of the dang house before your loved ones start to look like Hannibal Lector and your house a secret federal prison for the insane.

And from the tongue and cheek department of the grocery store …

Nobody is going on vacation now. It just isn’t safe.

Instead, why not go to a neighbor’s house (you know the one to pick, the healthy one), and move in? Offer your house to the neighbors.

It would be best to notify your neighbor in advance, of course. And if they are the ones who are constantly complaining about your dog barking, it might be a tough sell.

But if you find the right one …

Spend a week in someone else’s home. Leave pretzel crumbs on their couch, wear out their Hulu account while they enjoy your Netflix.

Parents with children may enjoy swapping their children with the neighbor’s children. I’ve got two teenagers. It might be nice to have younger less-opinionated children around for awhile — as long as they are potty trained.

In fact, it might be wise to make the house swap while your teenagers are out on a mandated walk. What a surprise when you return home to find your parents have moved away and there are new rules to be learned.

Those of us with parents and children in our household should probably be given first dibs on where each group is sent.

I, of course, would have to find a home which is handicapped accessible while I continue to recover from a hip surgery gone wrong.

The surgery needed to maybe get me on the road to wellness? It’s not being done while the virus is taking up so many hospital beds and ventilators.

So I sit. And I fume.

It was better when I was fresh off anesthesia and on heavy pain meds. The combo left me pretty much able to cry at any moment.

It snowed over night? I became a faucet.

It melted the next day? Crying buckets.

Now I am angry.

I need to get out of this place.

And there is nowhere to go.

Unless the state parks have a quarter mile handicapped accessible trail.

Or the neighbors put in a railing.

Matt Getts writes an occasional column for this newspaper. Sometimes, it’s better to vent. Send your complaints to him at mgetts@kpcmedia.com.

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