Joel, 8 from Indianapolis, was visiting his grandparents with his family for the week of July 4. They were swimming in Cree Lake when Joel asked if he could take his life jacket off because he knew how to swim. His grandmother, Cheryl, told him it scared her to let him do that because she can’t swim and she couldn’t save him if he was drowning. So Joel asked, “Would you at least yell ‘MayDay!’” — Cheryl Barker (grandmother of Joel) of Kendallville
Eva, 5, is learning to read. She noticed that her sister’s shirt said “U.S.A.” Curious, she asked her mother, “What does U.S.A. mean?” Marta replied, “What do you think U.S.A. means?” Eva thought for a moment, then answered, “It’s the person who delivers packages to our house!” — Marta Wysong of Wawaka
While driving, the family approached a construction zone and passed a “MEN WORKING” sign. Aster, who recently started reading pretty well, asked, “Why do we need to know whether the workers are men or women?” As they entered the work zone, sure enough, two of the workers were women. So they decided signs that say “WORKERS AHEAD” would be better — and Aster wants to contact the state of Ohio about new gender neutral signs! — Kevin Williams (father of Aster) of Ohio
As we all know, people of all ages say funny things. While we were in St. Petersburg, Russia, last month our guide shared two stories about Brezhnev. Older readers will remember that Soviets often poked fun at their leader who at times didn’t seem too bright. Here are the stories:
After a speech Brezhnev shouted at his speech writer: “I ordered you to write a 15-minute speech, but it took me a whole hour to read!” “Sorry,” the speech writer answered, “there were four copies, and you read them all.”
After the U.S. landed on the moon, Brezhnev said, “Comrades, I have a plan to overtake the U.S. in the space race — you will land on the sun!” “But we’ll burn up!” the comrades protested. “Don’t take me for a fool,” Brezhnev said, “you’ll land at night!”
Thank you to everyone who shares stories and/or photos for the “Funny things kids say” column which I have been writing since 1987! If you have a story or photo to share please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or mail stories to me at 816 Mott St., Kendallville, IN 46755. Thank you!