So my wife pulled into the driveway the other day just as I was about to take a baseball bat to our toaster. It’s a deluxe four-slice unit with lots of extra features that are too numerous to mention here.
“What the heck are you doing?” she hollered at me. I sensed by her tone and volume that she was angry with my decision.
“Just trying to get some justice for Aaron Rodgers,” I told her while readjusting my aim. Rodgers is the talented quarterback for the Green Bay Packers football team.
She managed to grab the baseball bat before I could deliver the first blow. She demanded an explanation that I was all too eager to give her.
“You bought this toaster at Target, right?” I asked her. I knew I was right.
“Well, Target is a major sponsor of the Minnesota Vikings, and the Vikings are the team that broke Rodgers’ collarbone last month. Ergo, I hate the Vikings and want to send them a message. If they play dirty, I am not going to use any of their corporate sponsors’ products. It’s simple logic,” I told her.
Actually, I got the idea from watching the Fox News Channel, especially the Sean Hannity hour. When a certain coffee maker pulled its ads from his show, Fox viewers started smashing their brewers as a form of protest.
We have to send a message to corporate America that it needs to get on the right side of these moral dilemmas our country faces on a daily basis.
We can’t have senatorial candidates and the attorney general of the United States getting smeared by hate campaigns being churned up by the likes of Bill and Hillary Clinton.
And speaking of the Clintons, a recent public opinion poll showed that a majority of Americans firmly believe that Hillary Clinton should be impeached.
Never mind the fact she doesn’t hold public office right now. We still need to get her and others like her impeached before they can do any more damage.
Hannity, who some believe is one of the fairest and most knowledgeable people on TV news, is leading the charge to reopen the investigations into the dealings of the Clintons. And if he’s doing that, well then by gosh it must be the right thing to do.
On a somewhat related note, I am worried about the ability of some of our top leaders to lose their memory when asked about big subjects such as meetings with Russians, etc.
U.S. Attorney General Jeff Sessions was questioned by a congressional panel the other day, and more than 20 times he told his questioners that he “could not recall” certain meetings and memos. And this guy is supposed to be our nation’s top law enforcement official, yet he has a mind like a spaghetti strainer.
Makes a fellow feel a little uneasy about the future of our great country when we have guys like him at the top.
Oh well. As long as we have televised sports to distract us from our problems I guess then we will be all right.
When he’s trying not to forget all of his past sins, retired newspaper editor Bob Buttgen can be reached by email at email@example.com. (He’s also hoping that both Indiana’s and Purdue’s football teams can become bowl eligible this season.)